Totally meaningless standings

Team W L Pct. GB
Tampa Bay 4 0 1.000
Philadelphia 2 0 1.000 1
Anaheim 1 0 1.000 1
Chicago (A) 1 0 1.000
Cleveland 1 0 1.000
Florida 1 0 1.000
New York (N) 1 0 1.000
Oakland 1 0 1.000
San Francisco 1 0 1.000
Texas 1 0 1.000
Washington 1 0 1.000
Cincinnati 2 1 .600 2
Baltimore 1 1 .500 2
Colorado 1 1 .500 2
Houston 1 1 .500 2
Kansas City 1 1 .500 2
Los Angeles 1 1 .500 2
Milwaukee 1 1 .500 2
Toronto 2 2 .500 2
Chicago (N) 1 2 .333
Minnesota 1 2 .333
Pittsburgh 1 2 .333
Boston 0 1 .000
New York (A) 0 1 .000
San Diego 0 1 .000
Arizona 1 3 .250
Seattle 1 3 .250
Atlanta 0 2 .000 3
Detroit 0 2 .000 3
St. Louis 0 2 .000 3

Why I have standings:

Since my ballpark tour takes place over many years, (more than a decade, by the time I’ll be done, as a matter of fact) there isn’t really much point to compiling these standings. After all, what’s the use of comparing the 2002 Pittsburgh Pirates with the 2011 Texas Rangers? But, since people seem to like this sort of thing, and since I went to the trouble of making this table one rainy Wednesday evening, I figure I might as well share it, cause I’ll be quirky that way.

So, what’s at stake?

Nothing, really. I suppose I could wait until I’ve been to all 30 stadia, and then declare whoever’s on top at that time “Ballpark Tour Champions.” I might even send the team’s front office a letter, offering to send them some kind of inexpensive trophy or plaque, but I doubt they’ll take me up on it, ’cause—after all—it’s a totally meaningless championship.

Can I (meaning you, the reader) win anything?

Ummm… Well, sure! If you can identify the significance of the line “I’ll be quirky that way,” you win a ticket to an Isotopes game! Please note the absolutely fascinating terms and conditions¹ and then make your guess in the comment box below. Good luck!


¹Please note: this is not a real contest, and I have not acquired permission to offer Isotopes tickets as prizes, to say nothing about going through any of the legal mumbo-jumbo of actually, really and honestly making this silly thing into a bona fide giveaway sweepstakes. Let’s call it more of a gentlemen’s agreement: If you answer correctly, what will actually happen depends on where you live and whether you’re willing to sit through an Isotopes game with me. If you live in Albuquerque or are willing to come here on YOUR DOLLAR and spend an evening talking baseball with me at a game of MY CHOICE, I’ll buy you an extra ticket, and maybe a beer or a bag of peanuts. Otherwise, I’ll be mailing you a used ticket stub. I didn’t say it was going to be a great prize, now did I?

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