An open letter to the Cardinals’ web guru

(But other teams take note as well…)

Dear Sir or Madam;

This is in response to your recent e-mail “Buy Parking for the Game BEFORE the Game!” I don’t object to the blanket assumption that begins this communique, that anybody who buys tickets to a Cardinals game must be a Cardinals fan. I know millions of tickets are sold over the course of a season and I do not expect anyone to be aware of everybody’s story, and their reason for going to a game. I don’t expect anybody to guess that I am out to see all thirty Major League cities, and have no particular rooting interests in any of them. 

Nor do I object (at least in principle) to the content of this e-mail, suggesting that I pay for parking beforehand. Again, I don’t expect you to know that I am not planning on bringing a car, and if I were, I might very well do exactly what you suggest in the e-mail.

What I object to is that I received this e-mail at all. Or the e-mail offering all the Cardinal’s merchandise I could ever want, or the one trying to get me to sign my (non-existent) kid up for a “kids clinic.” The moment I bought my ticket, I triple-checked to make sure that I opted out of any mailing list right from the start. I also object to the fact that I got this e-mail after twice hitting the “unsubscribe” button—after the first two unsolicited e-mails.

I am going to a Cardinals game. I will be coming by train, so I’ll let Amtrak worry about where they park it. I will buy a game program and whatever Cardinals merchandise strikes my fancy while I’m at the stadium. I am not a Cardinals fan per se, so I will not be needing anything to proclaim my undying fandom. However, in accordance with tradition, I do intend to wear red. Unless I get any more unauthorized solicitations, in which case I might just show up in Cubby blue.

Yours Truly,
The ballpark tourist

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